Ok, so here's my confession, I've been a nagging wife! I've been a hungry tic on the back of my husband scalp, the annoying weggie that comes from ones boxers riding too high. The worst, worst, worst nag ever! This is a break through moment for me so bear with me. I have never admitted this before the closest I've ever gotten to admitting this was saying that I was a bug-a-boo. LOL. Ok, so nagging isn't funny. It is essentially being wrapped up in someone else's faults, life, business, or whatever you want to call it, while ignoring your own. I've ignored my own faults to the point of neglecting house work, children, and self growth! How could I get this way? Wow. I don't even want to make excuses for myself because there are none. I've simple made the wrong behavioral choice as a wife and am now ready to change my approach.
Essentially and simply this entails me getting off my husband's back and paying attention to what it is I gotta do. Yeah I love him, yeah I'm a little misturstful and resentful, but non the less it is time for me to let all of that bitterness go. If I don't my children will continue to be put on the back burner as well as my duties as homemaker and pride in my personal upkeep. It has not been easy taking the focus off of my husband and turning that spot light around to see just what I have been doing besides worrying about what he's doing or not doing, communicating with me, while he's half way across the world. Come to think of it, he's been more than patient and understanding while dealing with my lack of spiritual maturity. I could learn a lot from him. He hasn't been acting insecure asking me to check in with him everyday and gettting angry at me if I don't. He's been one cool customer. My point is this I owe him more respect than to think so litle of him that I have to run behind him in attempts to monitor his behavior. Respect is a choice, and right now wether I feel it or not, I am commanded to respect my husband and it is about time I did so.
How do I plan on upholding my end of the bargin?
#1 I will honor my husband as my leader by not demanding that he do anything. I will speak to him respectfully and even fearfully. I will speak my opions respectfully and humbly then back off. Would I demand anything from my boss, or would I humbly ask?
#2 I will be happy, attentive, and receptive, each and every time he reaches out to me.
#3 I will get off his back, by focusing on doing my job as wife, mother and homemaker.
#4 I will not speak anytihng negative about my husband to anyone. My complaints go up to the only one who can do something about him, my lord and savior Jesus Christ.
#5 I will review this list frequently as to not forget!
Since I can't think of any more ways to quit nagging and start being a better wife, these will have to sufifice for now. I think this is a good start for me to start living fascinatingly. Fascinating womanhood, have you read it? In my opion it is a wife's how to guide when it comes to respecting her husband. Honestly I had no idea what this word meant yet alone how to do it less than a year ago. So I'm learning. Can you believe I am required by God to resepect my husband of now almost 6 years, but didn't even know what the word meant? This has to be sad for men to hear. I can't imagine the agony a disrespected husband suffers. I would rightly compare it to the sadness and heartache the unloved wife feels. Well if I could just remeber how much I hate feeling unloved by my husband each time I go to disrespecting him, then I would most likely reconsider making him feel that pain. So even when I'm upset I shouldn't disrespect him because of the hatred and heart break it will stir up in him. So I shouldn't speak when I'm unable to communicate my feelings respectfully.
The thing about fascinating womanhood is that it tells women not to hold these angry resentful feelings in, but release anger in a childlike feminine way. That is for example stomping your feet, crossing your arms, pouting, masculine name calling, or just sweat out your annoyances through a vigours work out. The reason being none of these ways stir up his anger, but instead stir up his love. Isn't that weird? Isn't that what women want the most? To be loved and cared for by their husbands? I know that is my greatest hearts desire. So I wonder if his is for me to respect him. The crazy thing is while I may have to wait patiently for this to happen for me, I don't have to make him wait to start receiving this type of nurturing of his soul and man hood from me. What a gift I can give to my man by simply respecting him. Let's think about it. What are some ways I can practically show respect to my husband and give him this feeling that I want for myself so badly, and that is to have my deepest hearts desire met.
#1 When he has an idea, be proud of him for being so brilliant and maybe even do somehing to help it come to pass!
#2 Being happy to see hm when he comes home, being proud of him for toughing it out in that big bad world! He's so brave!
#3 Hmm...By showing how much I desire him by showering him with kisses and passionate affection. What an ego boost! The fact that your wife of many years can't keep her hands off of you!
#4 Show him love and conideration by cooking for him before he asks because you know he'll be hungry.
#5 Being thankful for all he does for you, all his hard work is just to make you smile.
#6 Telling him thank you every once in a while for the tasks he does every day. I know it makes me smile to feel like what I'm doing is not being ignored.
#7 Letting others know how happy he makes you, and how you can't live with out him. OK is that over the top? Not if it's true!
#8 supporting him by doing your part as wife and mother. Taking great care of the kids, planning the birthday parties, the dr's and dentists appointments and just doing your best to keep the kids healthy and well balanced.
#9 Honoring him by not telling people his weaknesses. ( wow, I've learned more about this word respect than I thought)
#10 By not nagging him to do this or that, ask and accept his yes or no, but hopefully you are not in a position of being controlled to the point where he may not want to do something, but that doesn't mean you can't do it either, be it going out to church or going out to enjoy yourself.
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How can a wife get around a husband who won't let her do this or that thing that she really wants to do? Well now I wouldn't suggest nagging, witholding sex or affection, I would suggest that the wife simply ask again as if it's the first time, at another time. LIke the next day ask sweetly again. At least you won't be nagging and he'll see how badly you really want it. Don't give up! Assuming it is something that is not immasculating to his man hood, or bad for you. I really believe that if my husband is able he'll be also willing to please me. Yes, I'll hold on to that thought forever. Ok well I'm getting hungry( I am nine months pregnant) so I'll be back with more at another time. Love and respect.
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