Suspending this blog!

Hello,
I will be suspending this blog along with other endevors to rededicate my self to my wifely and motherly duties. I have enjoyed sharing with you, but for now I have to put first things first! in a few weeks things may calm down enough for me to be able to blog again. We will see!

Missing a Midwife

This last birth at home I was definitely missing a midwife. I cherished my husband during that time of labor. I leaned on him, I prayed with him, I screamed passionately raised my voice at him, I complained to him, I kissed him, but the part that was bothersome to me was that I had to COACH him. Not his problem. The issue is if I had a midwife I would not have had the stress of the on the job training of my labor partner. Consider a midwife or doula. My inexperienced sister worked out just fine because she was willing to listen to me convinced that I knew what was best for me.

How to mentor my daughter..don't know need to find out!!

I know lists exist about the things we want to teach our daughter, even I did one of those list in my journal with some pretty awesome, or so I thought, things I wanted to teach my daughter. But you know what this reminds me of? It's like when you are asked to forgive someone for some hurtful offense, and you really really want to and mean to except one crucial factor...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW! So that leads me to wonder, do I really know how to teach my daughter the things that I want her to know or will this be a major experiment in her upbringing? I don't want to leave it to chance, I know that. Well what should I do? OF course she's going to pick up things from me, but what if they are the things I don't want her to pick up from me? Does teaching her then become a major lesson in how to train myself? I think so in a way. However, I feel it deserves some further study and serious attention into how to mentor a daughter. And not just stop at a list of all the things we wish we taught our daughter. The time is now! If you don't know how to teach your daughters then find out! I intend to! They are our future! Plus, I'm finding out that people my age do not want a teacher so much as a friend! I would rather spend my energy putting love into my daughter than into strangers and Facebook friends who aren't in need or even asking for advice or opinions:). I welcome friends and will seek out mentors, I just wonder if we women get caught up in trying to guide an audience God never intended for us to exert energy on? Just a thought.

It was TRUE Labor!

Though the labor was slow, the contractions irregular it was TRUE labor! I was quite puzzled the other day about my labor when contractions were coming consistently, but were slightly uncomfortable and not unbearable :) lol, I guess I forgot that the pain intensity increases as the labor progresses. Well, I labored like that the whole day...contractions grew stronger and stronger until I finally had the baby the next afternoon around 1 pm. So that was 24 plus hour labor. Wow! Though I thought I was prepared to ride atop of the waves of my contractions, I somehow lost sight of my vision for a pain free delivery. Until my husband reminded me at the VERY end that I was going to have to breath the baby out, and he was right! I'm so glad he was there beside my bathroom tub, sitting on that floor, towel up to his nose due to him being sick, but he COACHED me! He was there or me bless GOD! So once I trembled and shook and struggled to keep a steady breathing pattern, the baby started descending even more! My hubby saw the baby move, of course I didn't I  had my eyes clothes working on my breathing. Is that why people involved in birthing are always talking about breathing? Because it is so vital! Wow. I am just putting that together :). So, internally as I breathed I felt the expansion of my bowels. Like a suction action happened that only I could hear. I believe it was the moment the baby's head hit the top of my cervix, with me being fully dilated. Shortly after that, very shortly the urge to push OVERCAME me! It was incredible! At that point I needed to push. Only a few times 2,3, or 4! Then the baby began to crown! At that point I felt the burning I KNEW that I would tear if I didn't slow down. But it was so hard to slow down! I sat up on my knees and whaled to my husband that I needed to change positions! So, he coached me on the best way to flip my self to all fours. The 'ring of fire' truly hit then! I screamed at my hubby to toss the water from the tub onto my bottom, as he stalled me, for his own reasons I may mention another time, the baby spilled out into the tub. Yep, spilled!! I quickly turned around, forgetting all pain, and witnessed the child floating under water with his mouth open! Yes! Two to three seconds later my husband instructed me firmly to GET HIM! :) So I scooped him up and cherished him in my arms. My friend lisa was there and had been keeping my toddler company, even fed her while my husband and I had our time together in the bathroom. Then I called for her and she came in mouth opened and surprised. I just wanted her to see, and God bless her she saw:) Ok, so I will end this post by saying...question those Braxton hicks contractions when they are coming consistently and even a little bit uncomfortably. Be prepared! Love to all. Peace!

Spouse from God

 I received this email forward “Spouse from God” which might be interesting read for you:

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse, “You don’t own because you didn’t ask” God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful. I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about.

As time went by I added the required list of my wanted spouse. One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart: “My servant, I cannot give you what you want.”

I asked, “Why God?” and God said “Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right.”

I asked “God, I don’t understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?”

God answered, “I will explain. It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your ownself. It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel, or someone forgiving; however, you still hide revenge, someone sensitive;however, you are very insensitive….”

He then said to me: “It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already have the qualities you want. Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one. Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long span education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow together”

This is for all: the recently married, the ones who have been married, the soon to get married,and the ones who are still looking.

A few days post delivery..cloudy brain, recalling labor...first doctors visit

I should have prayed this morning. I will, hold on. My mind was foggy, directionless. Even after a full cup of coffee sweetened. OK, so today I have a house to run. I am 5 days out from labor..:). Man that was tough! I was hoping for a pain free delivery...didn't get that. But that's not to discourage anyone else from hoping and believing in what they want. I did receive relief when I tried certain things during labor, like move from standing to squatting. When I kissed my husband that didn't help much because he had a cold and had a 4 inch thick towel covering his mouth which we kissed through. I don't think so. A massage was helpful. Hot water was helpful for a moment, until I became paralyzed by the pain and stuck in the position. In Hines sight, I wouldn't have stayed sitting straight up in my bath tub. I would have sat down for a few contractions than have my husband assist me out of there so that I can get into another comfortable position. Well the baby did come out! It wasn't easy but I'm glad I went through it. Transferring to a hospital at that last moment would have been, for me, more painful, and demoralizing. So :) Oh, let me tell you, I took Little man to the doctor for his first check up at 4 days old! I was dreading the task of actually getting there, but I must admit I am glad I took him, and am in a way relieved, although I had faith that he was ok. I told the doctor a little bit about the birth and he smiled. He was very supportive in helping me get the forms ready for retrieving his birth certificate. Well, I have to get to my priorities :) God loves you:) so I do too :) peace!

The importance of REST

So It has been four days since I delivered my third son at home :) and let me tell you, I am paying for that little bit of cleaning here, that little bit or cooking there, and that total disregard for my need to REST! The old folks was right, you need to rest after having a baby! Ok, so basically I took about two Motrin yesterday according to the label, and that kind of fooled me into thinking I was better. I moved up and down my stairs inside my four bedroom town home, I disciplined my kids with the vigor of a proverbs 31 woman in her prime, I ruled with an iron fist, mainly because I was preparing for the visit of my Dad, grandmother, and little sister.  I wanted the house in order and the kids presentable in that order! I made them clean up, take baths and prepare the home for company. But all the while I felt the pressure of having to perform, I sought the Lord. I had a feeling that what I was doing was too much. what I was doing was people pleasing. I wondered to myself that if I hadn't done this already to please the Lord, then why do it for them? Everything I do, is for the glory of the Lord and his good pleasure if for no one else's at all. I do believe that our love for God will lead us in a life to live graciously and pleasingly with others so it's not an all or nothing deal. Anyways, I did too much, now i'm resting today and am unapologetic for it. :)